You Promised Me Page 9

  He turns his back on me again and without thought, my hand reaches out and grabs his arm, somehow stopping him.

  "Please don't Hunter, don't leave me like this again. You are always running away from me," I say softly nearly pleading with him.

  "Take your hands off of me. You lost that right about fifteen minutes ago now. Honestly, I meant what I said. We are so done. Do you understand yet Gigi? You killed what I have dreamt about since I was a kid. This is all on you. But just so there is no miscommunication or misinterpretation, here we go again, I don't want anything to do with you. I don't want to see your face. I don't want your happiness. You go play someone else. Looks like Dom is happy to join the game, but I am not it, anymore. You understand what I am saying, Gigi?"

  "Why are you doing this Hunter? Can you just please explain to me what happened, what I did? I don't get it. You told me to say yes, you told me to accept his invitation, I did what you wanted me to do," I plead with him.

  "Nah, you just didn't hear what I was saying," he finishes speaking, and his eyes close in his anguish. Regardless, his words opened up the big void between us again and he gently tugs his arm out of my hand. He doesn't stop this time, he doesn't look back. He just goes. Leaving me there, still not understanding this thing between us. All I know is that I feel every word as it bounces through my shocked brain, every word cuts a little deeper across my heart.

  I stand behind that hedge in the gardens of St. Joseph's, lost. Completely disoriented, I know that I will never be able to find my way back from Hunter's leaving but I also recognise that I need to keep moving, the threat of impending exams and a mounting number of assignments, as well as a quarterly board meeting, means I don’t have the luxury of falling apart and drowning in my self-pity.

  It could be minutes, hours, days or weeks later, all of a sudden, time has no meaning but I eventually find myself back in the library. I gather all my books and my laptop, packing them all in my satchel before I leave. Surprisingly I haven't lost all that much time, everyone who was here before is still studiously working and no one turns their head at my return.

  Makes me wonder if I am really here at all. Makes me wonder if I care.

  The past few days in the run up to the party have been uneventful. Although, admittedly, I have spent a fair bit of time living in pretend land, so maybe I have just lost the ability to read and feel things properly.

  Since Hunter walked away, stealing a fair bit of me with him, I have settled into my routine. I just forgot to add the real me to everything I am doing. Unsurprisingly my friends don't even notice, so I figure I am doing an exceptional job at hiding the real me from everyone. I can’t hide from Grandpa though, and on that first afternoon, I called him and cried my heart out to him, until the tears stopped falling. His encouragement and his awesome ability to listen without judgement, saw me even share a few watery, emotionless laughs with him.

  PT with Drew passes in a series of more demanding work-out sessions, Tomas seems to think we need to find another challenge to master. I show up physically, do what is required, and use the excuse of looming exams as a good way of avoiding Drew's inquisitive gaze. During those long days, I use the excuse of my study load often, hiding away in the library by myself or in my room, ignoring the knocks, the calls, and the texts, it works mostly.

  Things with Dom are unsurprisingly awkward, even though he is so damn excited. The guilt at me not being a part of his excitement keeps me awake at night. I am pretty sure I am punishing him for his hand in this Hunter mess, even though I still don't understand what happened. I would love nothing more than feigning sickness or telling him to shove our date up his ass, but then I look at him and all it does is add to my addled thoughts.

  Grandpa's words loop around my head also, urging me to stop being ‘mature’ Gin and start living, start feeling and enjoying being a teenager without the weight of expectation on my shoulders. As I get closer to the party, I wonder if he is on to something.

  In between my training, my schooling, and my fumbling attempt at Coding, I find a little bit of my tenacity return. Hunter doesn't attend any of our tutor sessions, even though I show up waiting every day, hoping.

  Hartley comes and sees me each night after my pretend tutor sessions. I can't even tell her the truth, that he walked out on me, it just opens up too many other things that I would have to explain. The whole situation is so hard, too difficult to understand. I mean, I don’t myself, how could I explain it to someone else? But Hartley is not an idiot. She knows something is wrong and she also knows that I will tell her when I am ready and not before.

  The day of the party eventually arrives. I still wish I could just sleep through the day and night. I just don't want to go to it; I don't want to say to Dom I don't want to go, I honestly wish this day will just disappear.

  I spend the morning getting ready and maybe take a little bit extra time to ensure that I look great. More for myself, I think as I get ready, I feel the sting of my own deception.

  I just wish I could feel for Dom what I should because he has been nothing but spectacular. He is the perfect boyfriend material, my mother would swoon. Or, maybe, I just have never thought of someone else besides my childhood dream of Hunter. I stop and stare at myself as I finish my lip liner wondering if that is all this is, if that is what is stopping me from starting anything else with anyone else, a silly fantasy.

  Hunter always feels like more than a dream but maybe as harsh as it sounds, that’s all he was. A dream for something better, especially after Dad died and I was stolen away in the middle of the night, to live the life of a princess. He might just be nothing more than a happy memory, from a sad time.

  That thought brings me to the feeling that I am standing on a tightrope, balanced but wobbling crazy, right in the middle. Going either way, back or forward, will take the same dedication, both will take me to a similar haven of sorts, either will keep me safe, one not more attractive than the other. I stop staring and start acting. Finishing off my ruby red lipstick, I spray down with my favourite perfume, shimmy around to make sure I look okay and then I wait for Dom to knock on my door. I take a deep settling breath as I stand there and let my changed mindset wash over me, it feels different. It feels okay, and maybe it will work. I question and run through endlessly about, how will I know if I didn’t even try?

  Of course, Dom will never keep me waiting and I open the door to him, holding a magnificent bunch of my favourite flowers, electric blue hydrangeas. How he got them at this time of year I don't know, but all I can see, is that he did. The flowers though can't distract me from the guy standing in front of me. His steely grey eyes are overflowing with hope and desire. It does wonders for a girl's confidence and I quickly invite him in.

  "Jesus Gin, what are you wearing? You look incredible," he whispers as he moves closer to me, almost like he is stalking prey. A flash of guilt runs through my body as I remember not only a few days ago the feelings that Hunter stirred in me, but I contain them in a heartbeat, when I remember his rejection, his nasty words.

  I promised Dom a chance and tonight that is, what this is.

  "Thank you, Dom," I say as I reach up on my tippy toes to kiss him on the cheek, my liquid red nails wiping the remnants of my kiss off his face, although there is nothing there. I watch his eyes and the flare in interest at my touch.

  "Let's go then, sexy," Dom replies before holding his hand out to me, watching my eyes carefully, maybe checking for any hesitation before greedily grabbing my little hand in both of his. He pulls me to him just as quickly, dropping one hand of his to wrap around my shoulder. "I can't tell you how long I have waited for this Ginny. Thank you for giving me this one night," he whispers before letting me out of the hug and pulling us to the door. His step full of his excitement, his eagerness.

  We walk hand in hand to the St. Joseph's ballroom. It is so close it takes less than ten minutes to walk there and we are surrounded by just about everyone else at the school, either in couples or small g
roups. Everyone is dressed up in casual attire with most girls opting for pretty jumpsuits or long flowing dresses. There are only a few girls wearing pants and heels like me. I love my navy blue cigarette pants and the white bustier top is classy enough for the after-party also. My matching Bolero jacket is cute and gives me a little protection from the cooling night.

  Dom has talked the whole way, regaling me with funny stories of the last few dances he has been to and what to expect. He is so damn attentive, I relax into his arm as we make our way there. Dom is always so easy to be with, which confirms my decision earlier about Hunter, just being a happy memory.

  "Dom," I stop before we enter. I am nervous but I need to speak with him before we walk through the doors for some reason. "I'm so sorry I made this hard on you. You know I just had some stuff I had to work through, and I think maybe I worked through them. But I really am thrilled to be here with you and I am looking forward to getting to know you. Let's just take this slowly but I think I would like to try this out," I finish speaking and look up into his face.

  His eyes are just huge, the thrill of my words evident in them. He understands what I just said and he drops my hand, before stepping closer into me. His hands curl up around my face, almost reverently, before he drops his forehead to mine in the gentlest of touches. "You have no idea how happy that makes me Gin. I promise I won't rush any of this, but my god you just made me the happiest guy here. Thank you," he holds me as he just stares into my eyes. He must see what he needs because before I know what is going on he leans forward even closer, his mouth nearing mine. "Can I kiss you Gin?" he asks, his voice cracking in his desire and also his nerves.

  I smirk a little at him before leaning into him, closing the small distance between us. Kissing Dom is pretty amazing, admittedly I have only ever kissed Jackson, who was just an awkward experience, and Hunter. And this is nothing like that.

  I sigh into his mouth and smile between his little kisses, before he slows the fun, and ups the heat. He tilts my face to him so that he can have better access before kissing me passionately, leaving us both pulling away panting into each other's mouth.

  "Gin, you have ruined me forever now. How will anyone ever match that kiss? Thank you. God Gin, I just want to go back to my room and screw the party, but I also want to shout from the rooftop that she finally kissed me!" he is laughing in his carefree abandon, and it is a swoon worthy thing to behold.

  "Well, let's go say hello to everyone and see what happens. As they say Dom, the night is but young!" I follow his happiness with mine, but I also move my body closer to his, eager to experience one of his kisses again.

  Dom pulls me close into his arms again and with his eyes wide open he descends ever so slowly to my lips, and this time we both close our eyes and moan a little at the feelings our kisses inspire.

  "Stop kissing me Gin! We will never get to the party," he growls low, into my lips before making a conscious decision and almost pushing me out of his arms.

  "Is my lipstick smudged?" I ask, coylike, whilst my eyes beg for him to repeat our makeout session.

  "I wouldn't give a shit if it was. I want everyone to see that I have been kissing you. Sadly, no. I am going to buy you normal lipstick, none of that stay-on shit. I want those smudges. Let's go pretty girl. Everyone is waiting for us," he leans in quickly and offers me another Dom kiss but before we get distracted in our discovery of each other, we step away. He grabs my hands and leads us into the party.

  We walk into the ballroom and it is less than three seconds, before Hartley's screaming in my face, jumping up and down hugging me in her excitement. A big smile breaks over my face which is pretty similar to the one that Dom wears and we are surrounded by friends all congratulating us on our new budding relationship.

  Drew slides up to me and throws his arm up over me, and Dom growls at him, pulling me out of his arms. Dom leans down to me and whispers in my ear, "Hmmm, might have forgotten to tell you what a possessive schmuck I am again," I laugh at his words and he leans in a bit closer to kiss the side of my cheek.

  "Oh my god, are you serious right now!" Drew yells boisterously, before dragging me to the centre of the dancefloor, where we are quickly hidden from view by the hordes of dancing people.

  The DJ is playing track after track of all the newest music and it is so loud that you couldn't speak if you tried. We end up all joining on the dance floor, mucking around and having a blast. This is just what I need and the stress falls off of me between one song and the next. Dom dances behind me, his hands falling on my hips often, but he lets me shimmy with the girls before slowly reinserting himself behind me. After lots of giggles and misplaced touches we all leave the dancefloor and make our way to the bar.

  I am still not sure if I agree with St. Joseph's treatment of us as young adults but tonight, I really don't care. I order a glass of champagne along with some water while my friends order too. The barman quickly offers to bring our order over to our table and we all leave in a flurry of noise.

  I sit on Dom's lap, which I am pretty certain, makes him the happiest guy here, and we all seem to be talking over the top of each other, trying to be heard, it's loud and chaotic, but so much fun. The drinks take a little while to come and eventually the waiter brings over two trays, one stacked to the brim and then the other with just mine, which is pretty strange, but we all start grabbing our drinks as he balances the trays.

  "God, I am so thirsty!" I say before twisting the lid off of the mineral water and taking a large drink. I fiddle with the lid, trying to put it on again before Dom places his drink on the table, takes the bottle from my hand, and fixes the lid properly. He takes the opportunity after putting the bottle down to run his hands up the inside of my Bolero jacket, which is only draped over my shoulders after our dance.

  "Hmm, you feel so good, Gin," he murmurs as his hands run up the side of my body, his fingers slowing when he finds the skin between the back of my pants and my bustier top. He leans in close and kisses the back of my neck, not bothered by anyone around the table.

  Admittedly the lights are really low in the ballroom except on the dance floor, which is full of strobe lights and smoke machines, totally adding to the ambiance. I look around, and quite a few couples are snuggling up, enjoying the drinks and the relaxed party atmosphere and it helps me melt further into his lap. I snuggle my head onto his shoulder after turning slightly so that I am sitting side on, on his lap.

  Hartley is sitting next to me and is watching intently, her smile full of her smug eagerness.

  "Hey, where is Lizzie?" I ask suddenly, remembering that Hunter and Lizzie should be here with us. Some friend I am, forgetting that she isn't sitting with us. My stomach drops.

  Betsy answers from over the other side of the table, “Sitting at Hunter’s table with Connor and those guys.” She turns back to her in-depth discussion with Karen, not concerned at all.

  Hartley takes control of my confusion, "Good to see you finally succumbed to Dom's insistent begging, Ginny. He looks good on you!" she offers before leaning in close and giving me a giant raspberry on my cheek.

  We giggle and start chatting quietly to each other. I drink my champagne probably quicker than I should, and I look around for any waiters.

  "I'll get you one, Gin. You want another champagne?" Dom offers after tapping his fingers on my side to get my attention away from Hartley, who hasn't stopped talking into my ear.

  "Oh hey, that would be amazing!"

  "Hartley, anyone else want another drink? I, being the perfect boyfriend, I hope you all heard that, boyfriend, for the hard of hearing, of the beautiful Verginius, I am going to get another drink," he shouts over the table and everyone trash talks him before giving them their order.

  He taps my hips again and indicates that I need to stand. The action sends my head spinning, but a quick glance and no-one notices. Dom leans down and gently kisses my lips, on a sigh, then walks off.

  "I'm going to the toilet," I say over my shoulder letting everyo
ne know, and I get a few waves.

  People are dancing or milling around in small groups and I manage to dodge them. It is really busy in the ballroom and it feels like the space is constricting around me.

  I make my way stumbling around the dance floor, my feet getting caught up in each other, I nearly fall, but quickly find the wall in the hall to the toilet. My head keeps spinning, my tummy rising up to meet it, and little black dots line my vision. At the same time, it feels like I start moving through water, thick, making my feet drag over the carpet. A quick glance back over my shoulder, and I am so confused, just moments before there were people everywhere but now it is deserted. My head swings around looking, trying to figure out where I am when I am suddenly floating in the air, my head flopping backwards as I stare up at the ceiling.

  "Gigi, come on, Gigi. What the fuck is happening? Quick someone help," a voice bellows above me, I try to pull my head up and see where the noise is coming from but I can't even find the ceiling anymore.

  "Gigi. Hey, can you hear me?" the same voice calls to me again, this time softer, more gentle. I try to find it but again, I can't seem to do anything. It's like being stuck in a stickly black void that just holds me.

  The noise of doors slamming close by, is what wakes me, my heart thudding in my chest at the surprise. I try to sit up, but gentle hands push me down before something cool and damp trails over my forehead. A soft female voice urges me to drink some water.

  I must nod my head because within moments, a glass is placed at my lips and I drink hesitantly from the cup.

  "Ginny. Hey girl, you are okay. We are in your bedroom. It's me Hartley," a voice sounds as the glass is taken away from my lips and a gentle cloth swipes over my forehead for a second time.